Expectations:

You know what's funny? Picking up a glass to drink your Sprite and realizing it's milk.

Sometimes when you get something you didn't expect, it's a pleasant surprise. But if you don't like milk...

I was fully prepared this past weekend to play the Company Sweetheart role. I have been busting my bum to come up with ways to make the Alpha guys (and girls) smile. I suppose some of the reason I do it is to impress my sweetheart. I think it is also because I want to be the best (a self-centered perfectionist perspective) sweetheart there ever was or ever will be. I like drama.

I spent eight hours over two days making a huge cake for Friday's "Company Bonding" movie night. (In the end, it didn't matter, because they thought I bought it. A compliment in disguise I suppose.) I hadn't seen Paul in two months. Boy, was I surprised when the strange little girl who has been relentlessly pursuing him pulled up as we were unloading the party supplies.

I confronted her (over Facebook. Brave, huh?) this summer. I ended up saying some things I regretted. So, I cut myself off, promptly apologized, and assured her she would not be hearing from me again.

I still don't like her. I can see through her tactics, and her reptutation is not reassuring.

So, I spent the entire evening trying to catch my breath and trying not to look like I was trying to hard. She stared me down the whole time. (My little 15-year old brother who came along for the ride thought she was checking him out.) She also caught Paul in the hallway, and according to his rendition, he was curt.

I don't like this kind of drama. (or do I?)

My once-dormant fears are not quite on full blast (nothing's worse than the first blindsiding occurence), but nightmares have visited me the past two nights.

Sigh.
I think it's time I grew up.